caitlin elizabeth photography | personal | hampton roads portrait photographer

when i was in college, i had this really bad habit of having these little mini-freak outs.

ok they were a little more than mini...

they were major freak outs. to the point where i would find myself sitting at my desk, surrounded by the looming eyes of the past/present/future, breathing like i had just finished running a 5k *you thought i was going to say marathon, didn't you... please, do you know me? ;)

i would worry until i literally became ill.  and stress so much that my hair would fall out and i couldn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

once, i called mama from underneath the covers of my dorm room bed, bawling my eyes out and all but hyperventilating because i was terrified.  terrified that i wasn't enough.  it wasn't anything specific really. i just felt like i couldn't do everything i needed to. and that i wasn't good enough.  not for anything specific, but just in general. wasn't good enough. and that was a terrible feeling.

sometimes (ok, most of the time) i worry that i'm not good enough for this.  

BUT THEN I STOP. and really think about it.  

there are so many people trying to make it in this world - the photo one.  

which i think is phenomenal. 

the more the merrier - because we're here to make clients happy - and if there is a lot to choose from, that means that someone looking for a photographer can find exactly what they want.  

they just have to be willing to look.

some might think this is a terrible way to look at it. that this is what's ruining the 'industry.'

the bottom line: people are going to run their businesses differently, take pictures with their own twist, some are very involved during a session and others take a more hands off approach.  some think that it's all about the gear and others advocate the experience.

and then there are some of us who are all about keeping it real.  

i work with what i have, while i can, until i can make it better.

and along the way i capture what, to me, is beautiful: the real.

and when i accepted this (which is totally applicable in both my business and personal life) i stopped having those little mini-freak outs.  and the world became a much happier place.

:)

i had head-shots taken by jennifer warthan of warthan farms photography a while back - and i can't wait to incorporate them into my site/online presence! here's one of my favorites:

thank you jennifer! you make me feel pretty :) ratty hair, sweatshirt and all!